The media's effect on Boston's tragedy

Yesterday the Boston Marathon had two bombs explode near the end of the race course. This event caused the death of 3 people and injured over 100 other people. While tragic and scary I believe that the focus of the media on events like this causes more harm than good.

I am in no way suggesting that this event is insignificant. But the constant coverage on all media outlets does the one thing that the bomber wants; it gives them attention for their cause. We are now instantly and incessantly informed about the minute details of the event.  Video and audio of the actual explosion or shooting are shown on almost every television channel. Witnesses are dragged between news outlets to repeat their story thereby increasing the fear factor of the viewers; which is the true goal of the media outlet. Because the more we fear the more frequently we tune in to see what is happening and thereby boost the ratings of the news program.  

The increased fear that the media produces causes panic and stress nationwide; potentially even world wide, and in my mind is counter productive. It makes people believe that we are living in a much more dangerous world than ever before; by perpetuating this story we are caught in their trap.



Our world has been corrupted by evil from the day Cain slew Abel. Evil is always around and a part of our world but it is up to us to determine if we make it the focus of our life. By allowing the media to make it our focus we are forgetting to live in the light of God's love.

Obla dee oble da life goes on

So a lot has happened since I last scribbled here... I had seen the doc on 3/1/13 and he wanted me off of work for an extra 4 weeks to allow my hip flexors to calm down. Sadly neither that nor the prednisone that my family doc put me on to reduce swelling had much of an affect and by 3/23 I knew that there was no way I would make it back to work on 4/1/13...D day as it were. . . the day my STD (short term disability) ran out.

I contacted my boss on Monday 3/25 to let him know the status of my hip and that it was not going to be ready to return on 4/1/13 and he began the proceeding to "involuntarily terminate" me from my job. I hate that term because in my mind being terminated is the equivalent of being fired but in this case I just ran out of STD disability time and I am now eligible to apply for Long Term disability. Arrangements were made for the boss to come out the following Monday and complete the paperwork, collect my inventory and the va.

The day arrived and the boss was stuck in NY at LaGuardia for a long time and I ended up counting the inventory myself and boxing it up. My co-worker Rob came to give me a hand with the packing and even with his help my hip was a mess. We had the van packed and ready by the time the boss arrived and after a quick chat he took possession of all the stuff  and we all went out to dinner for one last time together.

Junk going to the trash

A full van!

Bob (the boss) and Joe (Co-worker)

Rob (the poor guy covering all my accounts)

I am sad and relieved at the same time to see this era end. On one hand it is going to be so much better for my health to not be doing the driving and the lifting and hauling that I have done for the last 13 years. At the same time I am sad because I have so many customers and co-workers who are friends that will no longer be part of my life and that is difficult. I was able to send out an email to the customer's whose addy's I had and to co-workers to let them all know what was happening. I chose NOT to say anything disparaging about the company in either email and everyone thinks I quit on my own. I have enlightened a few but I figure it will make no difference in the end if they know or don't know the truth.

I am trusting and believing that it will all turn out ok and I will find a position that is more suited to my current physical capabilities and will be able to support me with out having to take a large reduction in salary. I have applied for unemployment and am filling out the application for LTD. At present I have NO income and am trying not to freak out over not being able to pay my bills. I contacted everyone to whom I owe money and informed them that I lost my job and will not be making payments until I figure out what money I will be getting. I am not going to get any severance from the company even though I did not quit my job which I think is a crock. I have an appointment tomorrow with an Attorney to discuss what I need to do at this point and find out if I should be receiving something !

I saw my Orthopedic surgeon today and sadly there is not much he can do at this point to help me since I have also lost my insurance. I am still having a lot of pain and he has suggested several things but all of them take a bunch of money to do and with out insurance it is cost prohibitive. So in the meantime I will gradually begin to exercise more and will build up SLOWLY this time rather than trying hard to push myself to get back to work. The office did give me the paperwork to fill out to get HCAP a health care assistance program. Just one more set of papers to fill out.

Such a frustrating day. . . so following this appointment  which mom came along to we stopped at La Chateline and had lunch and then stopped at Youngs Dairy for icecream on the way home. Then I started looking the jobs that are available in the area and I am so frustrated by what is out there .... while doing this I got a call from the guy, who is handling all my customers about an account in Cincinnati and he need some info about the account. I had told him it was ok to call and ask questions but it makes me sad to chat about the customers that I will never see again.

On a positive note I was with my son on 3/23 looking at cars and ended up getting a car because I came to the conclusion I was not going back and I have not owned a car in 13 years. So I came home that day with a 2012 Dodge Avenger I absolutely love it and am very happy I decided to be proactive and get it before I was jobless and unable to get transpo. Now to figure out how to pay for everything.  :-)

What to do, What to do?

In 3 years I will be turning 50! Yikes !! Here is my dilemma; I love the mental challenges my current career provides. I work in an industry where things are constantly changing and I am always learning something new. And I really like that aspect of my job. On the other hand I work on medical equipment and I only got into this field as a stop gap to make it through raising children alone. Now my children are all grown up and I have made it through that phase of life. 

Unfortunately as you can see if you have read any of my prior ramblings I am falling apart. I recently had a body scan because I have systemic joint pain and wanted to get a baseline view of what the heck is happening. The results showed that there is arthritis in all joints that were imaged, somehow my elbows and hands were not in the scan and I also have issues with them so I presume had they been visible the results would be the same.  

So working as a field service rep is a physically demanding job and I am greatly concerned about how much longer I can do this type of work. I am more concerned because my options locally would be to return to a position at a hospital where I would lose quite a bit of money; but the benefit would be that o I would no longer have to travel. At this time I cannot justify losing so much money just to leave traveling. So now what?

At some point I fear (yes fear is my biggest stumbling block here) that I will be forced to change careers and I have NO money saved for a rainy day. I just watched a friend deal with that exact scenario. She had to have an unexpected major surgery and while out from the surgery her position at the hospital was filled and her benefits and pay were eliminated. She is now working again after being off work for 4 months but it has been extremely difficult and she is now facing eviction from her rental home. 

I have been off work since 12/3/12 and I am facing a similar problem if I cannot be back to work by 4/2/13. I had planned on returning on 3/4/13 but the Orthopedic surgeon wanted me to stay home an extra four weeks which puts me returning the day before they would have to terminate me. So my current plan is I will be back come hell or high water on 4/1. 

All the while I keep getting clues from the universe that I need to quit living in fear and make a change. So here is a run down of my recent Universal kicks in the butt...

3/04 The love of my life chose to self terminate.
9/04 I decided to go back to school
6/06 Graduated from Antioch University McGregor with my Bachelors in Humanities. 
8/08 Struck by a car while walking across the street.
11/11 Diagnosed with Pigmented Villonodular Synovitis
11/11 Tore my Labrum.
1/12 Had a Hip Arthroscopy.
4/12 Broke my Pinkie.
7/12 Broke my Ankle.
12/12 Had a Left Total Hip Replacement.
3/13 Healing well but still unable to return to job.

4/3/13 Expected to report for jury duty!!! Yes you read that right two days after I am scheduled to return to work (because I am completely out of Short term disability not because I am back to 100%) I am supposed to report for Jury duty! Seriously???

I would really like to be able to embrace the insistance of the universe and do something different...but I have lots of bills, especially medical bills which I am racking up like crazy this year! I paid over 8 thousand last year out of my pocket on medical bills. These were the expenses that were on top of what my insurance paid.

How do you live a life in the moment embracing and accepting what is coming without fear? I do not want to be stuck with no options and I have been looking this morning at Masters degrees in Acupuncture. I had actually looked into this in 07 when I was seeing an Acupuncturist on a regular basis. And for some reason I decided against doing it. I cannot turn 50 and not have a plan for the remainder of my life. 

My other thought is I love to knit and read and I would love to open a gathering space where people can come to sit and knit and chat and read and have tea and scones! I can visualize how I would set it up. Implementation would be the issue. . . how could I viably do something like this without it becoming just about selling and making money?

So I paused in writing for several hours and went out to lunch with my family and came back home and walked the dogs. 4:15- 6PM on 3/10 is always a rough time for me as Eric passed away  just before 4 and I found him at 4:15 and ws unable to revive him.