What Are You Willing To Risk To Truly Live?

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anais Nin

I found this question and quote on the discussion board of the Shameless Community. It was posed by Pamela Madsen the author, fertility expert, and sexalogolical therapist, to the community at large asking everyone what is holding you back, what do you fear. I find it interesting that she not only asks but answers the question from her own perspective and talks about her fears and what she struggles with every day.

I have been thinking about this question for some time and fear is a difficult thing to name sometimes. First you have to acknowledge that you have the fear then claim it and address it.

My life has taken an unexpected twist due to being diagnosed as part of 1.8 people per million with a rare joint disease called PVNS. Because of this my fears have changed and while I know I will need to make changes in my life to accommodate this disease I am terrified of the changes. First and for most is that I will not be able to continue my current profession forever. I am, like most people self identified by this career, and the loss of that identity will be huge.

On top of that a career change will entail loss of financial security that I have worked so hard to establish. Don't get me wrong I am not wealthy but I am making enough to supply what I need and most of what I want. Any change will mean immediate loss of that security.

At the same time I can totally see that this disease has opened an opportunity for me to continue to develop and grow in my spiritual and personal beliefs and I can so understand that this is the Universe telling me it is time to make a change.

So no the next step is to embrace it and believe that the changes will be good for me in the long run and by accepting that I can allow myself the opportunity to blossom.

Thanks for the reminder.