Seriously can't we all just get along?

I am getting so sick of all the finger pointing and blame that is flying around these days. Yes the government has taken leave of their senses. Yes all the government operated places have been closed and people are out of work but blame will not solve this situation.

Sadly the people who made the decision to shut down the government are not the ones being affected on a daily basis by their ridiculous decision. The ones who are suffering are people who live paycheck to paycheck working for the government! Senators and Congressmen and the President are NOT suffering. They may be sitting in the hallowed halls arguing and wading in bullshit but they are still NOT suffering.

This constant bickering has had an overflow effect on social media and people are fighting to prove their position. Positions which in reality may be based on inaccurate information and filled with errors but to the person pressing their point it is "the truth" and they KNOW they are right. (Because the talking heads told them what was right).

Historically governments have fallen apart after being run the same way for 200 years. We are now at the 237th year of this experiment called Democracy. Who says that it is the end all be all to running governments. As we can attest this month it is failing in a spectacular way. Chaos and fear are all that is needed to topple a government.

What is with the obsession to be right. Why do we as humans feel the need to be constantly right? Why can't we accept that we each may have portions of "the truth" but none of us has the whole "TRUTH".  This thought leads me over to religious organizations who teach their followers to believe unquestioningly that they (the religious leaders/spiritual advisers) are the only ones who KNOW what GOD wants and they are here to guide each and every one into the promised land.  When in reality there is no way to know which religious construct is the correct one. Or if one really exists!

Are we as humans making it all up? In our effort to feel we are not alone?

The interesting thing is every place you go to on earth has a story of a deity or multiple who are being worshiped. Each one has a story to explain how the earth began and many are similar even though there was no contact between peoples in the ancient times.

What if as the world began multiple sparks from the "Big Bang" set out with programmed information and each spark landed on a human as a virus and entered their brain and caused them each to have high fevers and hallucinations. Out of these fever dreams we ended up with people in each corner of the earth believing in "other" and naming it a "god". 

I believe there are many things that we do not know in this world. I am on a journey of discovery and each and everything I learn or experience helps me on my path. To where I don't know but I don't want it to be the Elysian fields or the pits of hell both are way to limiting!

Updates

Long time no see everyone...I have been truly delinquent with writing this summer and now it is definitely fall and I need to get caught up.

At our last chat I was informing everyone about a new study being conducted for people with PVNS. I completed the process shortly after the announcement and it was completely pain free and as a bonus they sent an American Express gift card to everyone who participated.

The summer has been fairly low key I did not get to the pool (outdoor) even once this summer as we had a very cool summer; which in OH is very unusual. Then September came and the weather became our normal July temperatures. Any way I am still not very active yet. I started volunteering in June and "work" one day a week at Kettering Medical Center. The nice thing about this gig is that I can sit if I need to and I can stand and rock (makes my hip hurt less) as needed. I am greeting people as they come into the Physician Office Building (POB) and giving directions or answering questions. It is actually kind of fun but there are times where it can get boring with no one walking in the door, that is when I organize the drawers.

I finally got my shoulder repaired after injuring it 18 years ago and then getting it re-injured in 08 when the car hit me. The surgeon was able to repair everything through 4 small incisions and he found that there was a lot to fix once he got in there. It was booked as a Acromioclavicular resection, shoulder decompression and possible rotator cuff tear. What they found was a rotator cuff tear, a laberal tear and a bicep tendon tear along with lots of debris floating around. So they fixed the rotator cuff, resected the Acromioclavicular joint (chopped off a piece of my clavicle) fixed the laberal tear and inserted 2 anchors to hold the bicep tendon in place and cleaned out the debris. I was placed in to an immobilizer for 6-9 weeks and sent on home. Because of all my allergies or sensitivities to narcotics I cannot take what they normally use for surgical recovery and I was sent home with a Prescription for Tylenol#3 for pain management. If you have ever had surgery you know that T#3 does nothing to help with pain management. I had been using pain patches prior to surgery so my family doc called in a refill with a higher dose of the pain patch. That helped a bit but I really am not so sure it was doing much good at all. Several weeks later I ran out of the pain patches (had 2 defective patches that would not stick and fell on the floor .... I was not about to pick them up and put them back on my skin) ... ANYWAY I ended up needing a refill before the RX could be filled and I decided to forget about it and had about a week of withdrawal symptoms (fever and chills) and that was it no big deal getting rid of them. I am now 7 weeks out from shoulder surgery and I am doing really well I got the immobilizer off on Thursday and have just a regular sling to wear now. I am not wearing it much at home but when I go out I am putting it on. Doing loads of exercises to stretch and loosen the shoulder and I am getting back the range of motion but full ROM may take a bit but I am not giving up. 

I am now 10 months out from my LTHR and I am once again having hip issues. It feels like there is fluid surrounding my hip joint and it hurts every step I take and my leg is swelling up like crazy. I lay in bed with my legs up all night or in the recliner and while in these positions the swelling recedes, then I stand up and boom the swelling comes back again. I put up with it for about 2 weeks before finally emailing my Orthopedic Surgeon (OS) who did my surgery and  his PA called to tell me that he was on vacation and she would get back to me. So now he's back and they chatted and he is throwing in the towel and has asked that I go to see another OS. This one works in the town where I live my OS that did the LTHR is 90 min away. I called and got an appt for the 9th of Oct with the new doc. I was actually surprised that they had an opening so soon and I would not have to wait 6 weeks to get in. In the meantime I am icing elevating and resting my hip in hopes that the fluid will go away and I will stop hurting. I still have problems with the implant, I wonder sometimes if the cup or the rim is wrong and is rubbing on the muscles that run through the groin because I have had groin pain since surgery. It actually feels better if I sit with my leg "cocked" out to the side. I was chatting with a fellow PVNSer and she has the same thing going on with her hip and she was told the reason it feels better to sit that way is it opens up the capsule around the joint and relieves the pressure. I will do an other update once I hear what this other doc has to say; although I am not convinced he is the right person to see since he is a "generalist" and not a "hip specialist" and I don't even know if he has ever dealt with PVNS!


More another day

PVNS and GCT-TS Research Study

I received this email on May 30, 2013

Dear Sheila,

I am contacting you about an important PVNS and GCT-TS study that may advance research! PVNS and GCT-TS tumors are rare and input from participants with these tumors is very important. 

We are conducting this interview study so that we can learn from you and better understand the symptoms of PVNS or GCT-TS and the impact that these symptoms may have on your life. 

You may be eligible to participate in the study if;

·         You are 18 years of age and older

·         You are able to read and speak English

·         You have or had a PVNS or GCT-TS tumor and this can be clinically confirmed by your physician

The study involves an interview lasting about 60-90 minutes, no treatments are given as part of this study. If you are eligible and participate in this study you will receive $100 for your time.

If you would like more information about the study, please call 866-766-2344 and ask for Kelly McQuarrie or Adam Weinberger.

Please feel free to share this invitation with others that you may know who have PVNS or GCT-TS who may be interested in participating in the study.

Thank you for considering this important research study!

Adam Weinberger

Research Assistant

Outcomes Research

United BioSource Corporation

7101 Wisconsin Avenue, Suite 600

Bethesda, MD 20814

Phone: +1 240 235 2502 ext. 62502

Cell: +1 301 219 8683

Fax:  +1 301 654 9864

Email: adam.weinberger@unitedbiosource.com

www.unitedbiosource.com

At last an answer

Finally I can stop worrying! I got an email on Sunday with the answer to my LTD application. I have been approved!
Yeah~ In the letter they specifically state that they want to assist me in getting back to work and totally forsee me being able to do so. That is fantastic. I am not able to ever go back to what I did previously so it is time to go back to school!


I need to get in touch with my LTD claim manager and discuss education options and see what he says. I was thinking about a career change and getting a M. Ed. for Middle school but that may not be the right direction. I will know more after I chat with my guy. In the mean time my application is filled out and submitted to Antioch Midwest and I need to send in my essay and resume to complete the application process. Completion depends on what I learn from my guy at LTD.

I am very excited about this and mentioned it on Facebook to people in the 2 groups that I am in as well as to my friends and family. I am really frustrated by the responses that I am getting from some of the people in the groups! Many people are supportive but there are a few who's response has made me very sad. Yes it is possible to have a teaching job that is physically demanding. I fully expect teaching small fries to be tough. Special Education would be hard for me to do physically as well. High school students are just evil and I want nothing to do with them. I am thinking about middle school because my 6th grade teacher sucked so badly that I want to go back to be a Great Middle school teacher. Of course I need to revamp my language since I can't say F^@& every other word!

I am 47 and I have no desire to live the rest of my life on disablity but it is almost like they are trying to get me to give up and coast the remainder of my days. NO thanks~ I fully expect to live past 70 and to be active the entire time.

I like working I like to get out of the house and do something. I just can not immagine living another 30+ years being at home every day! Yes I have health problems but why does that mean my life is over and I should become a LTD lifer?

Financially frustrated

Hallelijuah!
I can pay some bills! My 401k money was available to me on Weds and I requested a disbursment and I just got the check in the mail today. Of course the bank wants to put a hold on the check for a few days before they release the funds to me. But it is here and I can now make an effort to get caught up!

I had spent the morning calling everyone that I owe and updating them and getting extensions on the two that were scheduled for disconnection. Luckily they were both very helpful and I got that all set up. These calls take so much time. I think I was on the phone for 3 hours before quitting. 

The worst call was to my Lowes credit card company. The card is under written by GE which had I known that in the beginning I would never have opened a credit account with them in the first place. They outsourse their work to India which is frustrating because it is difficult to understand the person on the other end. All of them have been taught English but the guy I got today had a thick accent and was so frustrating and the phone connection today was terrible. I was trying to be proactive and contact everyone not to set up payment because I did not know when the money was arriving nor did I know how much I would be able to pay. I was calling to simply give them the chance to update my account. The people they hire are not capable of talking off "script".  The guy "Steve" that I was on the phone with today would not revert from script and listen to me. I finally got frustrated and asked to speak to the manager. "Steve" asked why and I told him "because I don't want to talk to you any longer!" I finally got a manager who started again with the "I apologize" I stopped him and said "I don't want your apology, I want you to listen, take notes and update my account not spout your script". Any way he finally said he had updated the account and I thanked him and hung up. I cancelled this account in March and there is nothing in the world that will entice me to have any retail credit cards ever again! Especially ones that are through GE.

I cancelled a bank account at Chase bank when I realized that they were started by JP Morgan Chase who also is the greedy bastard who started General Electric. GE is a horrible company!

On the upside for the day a mere five calendar days since I requested my 401K money I received a check in the mail. Happy dance!!! I stopped making calls and went right to the bank where I discovered that they would not let me take a third of the money in cash and would only let me have $500; this is because they put a 7 day hold on the money. Apparently the manager can override this restriction but she was not in today; I decided to come back tomorrow. Then I got to thinking that maybe I should check out the other local branch to see if they had a manager onsite which they did but he said the same thing that he could give me the $500 but he would have them run it on same day business and not next day and he would not put the 7 day hold on the money. This frees me up to pay my bills! Yay Bless you Mr. Manager!

So now how do I go about wisely using this money that should have been for my eventual retirement but which I will need to live off of for the next bit of time. . . Hum I need a wise financial guru! I will figure this out I will but it would be awesome to have a wizard on my team! Night all!

Status Update: SNAFU

I lost my job on 4/1/13 not because I am a bad employee not because I wanted to leave but because I am physically no longer able to continue working in that field. The boss and the company would have liked for me to be able to return but it was just not in the cards. 

I have been living off of my last 2 pay checks, neither of which were the full amount that I had normally received. I have paid no utilities, mortgage, credit card or medical bills. Since losing my job I have only paid 3 bills. . . COBRA insurance for a month. . . my first car payment and my car insurance. So I am waiting for everything to be shut off ... my internet and cable will be disconnected on May 21st. And I am sure everything else will soon follow.  I can live with out TV and Internet (Panera here I come), I can even survive with out electricity but the idea of living without water or hot shower kills me.

Every day I am getting inundated by calls wanting me to pay up or make arrangements to pay.  These people on the telephone do not understand that I have NO MONEY COMING IN. I keep explaining that I have nothing coming in and I cannot make payment arrangements because I have no idea when I will have money coming in.They called all weekend and finally quit calling around 8 last night and began again at 8 this morning. It is so frustrating. I know I owe them money and I want to work I can't find any thing that I can do within my limitations.

I know that I cannot return to my prior career and it makes me sad. I woke up one day a week ago and almost called and begged to come back to work. But before picking up the phone I did a mental pro/con list and the con's out weigh the benefits of returning to that career. Spending 3-10 hours a day driving and then hauling in 25-50lbs of equipment into each hospital is much too difficult to do with my bad hip.

I thought that I would have gotten unemployment by this time but they rejected my application, they say I am "physically unable to work" even though the doctor filled out the form and stated that I could work within my limitations in a different career. Apparently all they saw was the limitations. I am eligible to apply, but at this point they will most likely deny me again.
 
I also applied for long term disability but have not gotten any response yet. I called the other day to find out if there is anything that I need to do at this point but they were just waiting for Ohio State to send them copies of my medical records. They did say that they will be making a determination by June 7th.

I have money sitting in my 401K but I have to wait 45 days from when New York Life is notified that I am no longer employed to access my money.

I have applied for numerous jobs that I could do, all of which are not things that I have ever done before, but I am sure I could handle them easily. Sadly I keep getting told that my skill set is not compatible with their needs. I love libraries and I know that I could sort and file books, or check people out at the circulation desk. I filled out a general application for the Washington Centerville library and got a lovely rejection letter in the mail. At least they responded, Kaplan University, Robert Half and Kelly Services all replied by email, but of the other 15 or 20 applications I have put in I have gotten no responses.

This is where I think that online applications are not working for those who like me who are looking for work but can no long work in the profession where they were trained. There is something missing when you are not meeting someone face to face and basing the decision for an interview solely on a resume received online. I went to the Job Center to chat with a job counselor and she was very sweet but was focused on getting me back to work as a Biomed and wanted to help me find Biomed jobs.

I had an interview on Wednesday for volunteer position at the hospital which is only 5 minutes away from home. The lady who was interviewing me and I hit it off right away and I walked out the door with my orientation information and schedule and knowing that as soon as I was done with orientation I would start working the reception desk in the Physician Office Building.

The media's effect on Boston's tragedy

Yesterday the Boston Marathon had two bombs explode near the end of the race course. This event caused the death of 3 people and injured over 100 other people. While tragic and scary I believe that the focus of the media on events like this causes more harm than good.

I am in no way suggesting that this event is insignificant. But the constant coverage on all media outlets does the one thing that the bomber wants; it gives them attention for their cause. We are now instantly and incessantly informed about the minute details of the event.  Video and audio of the actual explosion or shooting are shown on almost every television channel. Witnesses are dragged between news outlets to repeat their story thereby increasing the fear factor of the viewers; which is the true goal of the media outlet. Because the more we fear the more frequently we tune in to see what is happening and thereby boost the ratings of the news program.  

The increased fear that the media produces causes panic and stress nationwide; potentially even world wide, and in my mind is counter productive. It makes people believe that we are living in a much more dangerous world than ever before; by perpetuating this story we are caught in their trap.



Our world has been corrupted by evil from the day Cain slew Abel. Evil is always around and a part of our world but it is up to us to determine if we make it the focus of our life. By allowing the media to make it our focus we are forgetting to live in the light of God's love.